She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
