just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
