I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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