I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he told me I talked like a deaf person
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
