Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
