I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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