This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
