they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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