you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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