I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
