she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
