Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
