The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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