Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
