...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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