I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
