dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
