then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
