we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
