I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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