Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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