omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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