I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he thought i was a dude.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
