So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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