Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
