why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
