You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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