I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize