My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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