All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
