also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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