Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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