How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
