Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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