Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
