I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
