Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize