I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
