The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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