If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
