bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
