I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
