I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
