her vagine was all disorganized.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
