i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
