i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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