You can't special order awesome
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
