I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
