wrigley field is MILF paradise
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
