Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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