What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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