I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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