He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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