Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
