I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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