Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
