I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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