Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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