I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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