your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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