yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
