i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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