So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
