I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
