this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
