her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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