She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
