ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
nutella sex= disaster
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
