But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
